God Listens

I got exactly what I asked for. Just realizing this. Years ago, when my mom worked as a special ed teacher and I used to go with her to home visits, volunteer with her classes, and volunteer in her friends' classes, I said it. I liked working with her kids so much that I did so in every free moment. I continued it in college and as an adult. I forgot what I said so many years ago.

6 years ago, I had a little girl after 13 years of marriage. After having given up on being able to have a child long before. We knew at about 7 months old that our daughter was different. Different in a good way. She was speaking words and knew her colors - at 7 months old. No joke. She could spell and write her name at 1 year. She was writing small words and reading sight words at 16 months old. When she was 3 she was doing basic math, writing small books of her own, and reading any book we put in front of her. She had mastered phonics at 2 1/2. She spoke like an adult with a tiny voice and a huge vocabulary.

Every parent believes their child is gifted. And they all are, in their own little ways. Everyone is good at something. Everyone is different and special. And too many parents are competitive. I shut up and tried to hide it. A parent sees your child reading, asks about it, and insists they've memorized the book. "No, it's a new book, she's just an early reader." A coincidence and I'm a liar. Sure, whatever. I'm not competing with you.

The friends want to know what you specifically did. What toys? What did you read? What videos? How do you teach that? Ummm....I'm happy to give you a list of everything. The thing is, Miss Fabulous is just different. Yes it's impressive and yes it's unreal to see. It freaks some teachers and directors out. But what they don't often see is how extreme she can be in other ways. Her teachers know this.

I mention quietly that we're having a drama queen day to the teacher. A nearby parent mentions that theirs is exactly the same way. A teacher speaks up and says "oh, well, Miss Fabulous is actually the master of that one." I give her warning in those modes. People have no idea what drama means until they live in my house for 24 hours. No, she's not a brat. That's just her. In most moments you will see a very sweet, funny, and respectful child. In other moments, you will see a tantrum like you've never experienced. One teacher suggested counseling. I suggested level-appropriate work rather than age-appropriate work. Amazing how those meltdowns diminished. Not gone, just fewer.

Others may think a missing toy is sad and something to get upset about. In our house, that can mean up to 3 hours of screaming, crying, demanding, hysterics. There is NO consoling. There is no stopping it. There is no reason, even for a small child. Mommy hugs will not make it better.

So, yes, my child tests at the highly gifted range. She is different. The skills are impressive and unbelievable. Then the parents want to compete. But they don't know about all the experts I'd had to consult, all the calls and questions I've made. The money we've spent on consultants and testing. They don't understand the level of research to figure out how to solve small problems that other kids don't have and still not getting answers. There is no "What to Expect" book for Gifted Children.

Don't get me wrong, it's a blessing. I'm happy to be a constant advocate for my child. But it's also very tiring. Going to a parent/teacher conference year after year, having the principal and directors attend too, is overwhelming. And every time I ask about ideas for kids like this, I get to hear "I've NEVER had a child like Miss Fabulous." We're all searching for help and answers.

I have so many theories from my research and so many ideas on brain functions. But I don't have the funding to properly conduct more research and studies. I don't have the connection to all the experts. Yet!

Today though, I remembered something I said years ago - as a teenager. I loved my time with the severe and profound special education students so much that I had said "I hope when I have a child, I get to have one like that - they're such a blessing and a gift."

Well, my child is exactly that, just a different side of the spectrum. She was an absolute surprise blessing. She shouldn't have been concieved. I was given a gift and I got exactly what I asked for.

I think God was listening.