Annoyances Squared

I can't stop bitching inside my head right now. The weekend started off just fine and lots of wonderful things have happened. I AM really happy, but...I'm gettin' kinda mad too.

Instead of sleeping in with the rest of the family yesterday, I had to get up early to go open a checking account for a little girl thing that I volunteered for. Now, I am not certain why my co-volunteer thought we needed to do this first thing in the morning - and I really didn't understand it when I had to wait for her to arrive 20 minutes AFTER our appointment time (I got there 10 minutes early, like I always do.)

Okay...the appointment, I got the ball rolling and she finally shows up and then the bank's computers aren't working so we can't finish getting the account set-up and will have to come back later. My co-volunteer gets grumpy with the lady and starts turning into an ogre; I turn on my sweet button and start to bridge the gap saying how WE understand and it's not intentional and thus settle my partner-turned-ogre down into quiet steam. Way cool, bank lady thanks US for being so understanding and gives us a $20 Starbucks card as a thank you. Yeah, we have to go back another time - but whatever, I'm cool with that.

Out in the parking lot, the late co-volunteer decides that we need to meet to plan out the year and our meetings. Ummm....no we really don't, these kids are kindergarteners, we can handle some things via email and not get all psycho crazy about this while still accomplishing our goals. But whatever, I stand in the parking lot another 30 minutes being nice while ready to get on with my other plans for the day. Mission accomplished, I head home and co-volunteer has turned back into a happy lady. Maybe it was her cold that made her get...you know.

Now it's time to put up the Halloween decorations. By myself, I lug up the first two giant tubs of decorations while the husband and Miss Fabulous watch me. Finally the husband stands up and goes down and gets the others. Everyone's ready to put up the decorations. Uh, no...we need to clean the house first. Everyone disappears and I clean by myself, as usual. THAT aggravates me, I've been asking for help with cleaning since I started working and the help is always promised but never delivered.

Meanwhile, the lawn outside also hasn't been mowed and the piles of dog poop are so overwhelming that it might be easier to start our own fertilizer outfit. Of course, the cleaning thing happened last weekend too and last weekend I mentioned that I'd like help. I think I got help with one bathroom (the small counter and toilet were cleaned, not the dusting, not the baseboards, not the tub, not the floor) - we have four bathrooms. The house is 5000 square feet. Doing it all by myself is simply not possible, though I continue to try.

Today I had an idea of doing something I'd wanted to try out. I quit printing our family pictures over 3 years ago, they're saved on the computer and on disks - but there's just not enough time to do more. I wanted to take some of our pics from this summer and our last trip to Disneyland and create a video with them. I organized the pics and then the camera decided that it wasn't going to let me transfer the pics it took BACK to the camera from the computer. UGH! I went to reach for a CD out of my box - but the box of my blank CD's wasn't there. I looked everywhere. Then I remember that approximately a month prior, as I was cleaning the house, my husband decided that he would "help" by organizing the cupboards in my office. I looked; I couldn't find my box.

So now I have to wait....Miss Fabulous and my husband went out to play on her bike. When they finally come back, I ask my husband where he put them. Of course, he doesn't remember and thinks he never saw the box. Ummmm....no, I am extremely organized and I know EXACTLY where my box of CDs are - they always have been there since we moved into this house 4 years ago. After about 20 minutes, he finds where he put them - downstairs in a storage area that I don't go in (because there are spiders down there and no one will help me clean the area.)

At this point, it's been 2 hours into this activity with no progress made. We still have to do grocery shopping and finish cleaning the house. I can't clean the house because I don't have my cleaning chemicals. I don't have my cleaning chemicals because last week I had to clean the house by myself again and had to send my husband to get the groceries. With a list of just the usual items - but none of the cleaners were purchased.

So it's now obvious that I'm extremely annoyed. I didn't get to play, I couldn't find my stuff, no one's helping even though I've been asking for 9 months, and I can't get anything done because I don't have the things I need to do them. I could have left to go to the grocery store but didn't want them to come back and not know where I was, didn't know if there was anything he needed that wasn't on a list, and I still needed the CDs.

Sooooooo the husband decides that he will go get the groceries so I can now take my disks and get the videos made before I get back to clean the house; but then he walks back in and asks "can we take your car or do we have to take mine."

"Yeah sure, take my car, I wasn't planning on going anywhere anyway..."

There's more, but I'm done for now.

My miniature mid-life crisis - in my head...

Approaching my 19 year anniversary of marriage and boy does it make me think. I'm HOW old? I'm chasing a 5 year old and her little kindergarten friends and really I do love every single minute of it. Happy tears flow regularly and that's really something to enjoy. But I'm married to a guy who is 42 years old - how did THAT happen? Seriously! I'm only...okay, no, I'm not in my 20's - whoops, forgot.

I love my life and every single minute of it. I love my family beyond all being. I appreciate the comfort and familiarity and dependability of things. However, I can't help but think and think and think. I suppose it's the mom's life of imagination and surviving tasks like wiping noses, butts, and cleaning up vomit. I keep it in my head, mostly. But lately I think it's turning into a mid-life crisis - but only in my head, please, I DO have responsibilities.

But...oh how attractive and intriguing are the thoughts of running off to a large and culturally thriving metropolitan area or the solitude of a beach. By myself. Views of San Francisco through a posh and well-designed hotel room, with room service and desserts of creme brulee and warm chocolate lava cake. A walk along the pier and no conversation but just the ability to experience my own senses.

How about just the opportunity for an entire weekend of no clothing, great and constant sex, views, and...okay, room service again. Dinner out at dimly-lit, fantastic restaurants, featuring master-piece culinary creations that spark excitement in all senses and that do NOT serve chicken nuggets, pizza, or hot dogs. Quiet appreciation with some random man who doesn't want to watch sports all weekend and maybe who just wants to enjoy and experience those things with me - who doesn't have any intention of talking about the adorable thing a child did or anything about work or emails and who doesn't have a Blackberry tagging along that beeps incessantly and demands attention every waking hour. Someone who doesn't spill things all over or need food cut up for them. A man who gets why I starve myself of carbs and perhaps appreciates it.

Going for a jog around Venice with JUST my incredibly attentive poodle and getting to sit afterwards at a Starbucks, in a clean & comfy chair overlooking the ocean with the most perfect Caramel Macchiato I've ever had.

How about chocolate fondue, all OVER my body or.... Okay, so now I'm probably scaring my regular, suburban mom friends and everyone else on earth and no one would have any idea just how far my warped little thoughts go.

Sometimes the mind just wanders and, wow, I think maybe I need a getaway soon. Unfortunately, there are school events and fundraisers calling my name, one of the dogs needs an appointment for her shots and check-up, I haven't yet cleaned my bathroom, and my daughter needs to visit the dentist. So, back to reality and life and being able to see a 5 year old celebrate her way into being 6.

As for my anniversary, I suppose a few hours with a babysitter and dinner at a no-reservations beer joint with good food and clean restrooms is pretty nice too. At least they have creme brulee and I have a great imagination. Wink, wink...

Having a little inner tantrum

A few weeks ago, my family voted against me. Every year since my daughter was born, we've gone to Disneyland for her birthday. And, of course, we go a few others times during the year as well. BUT Halloween is my favorite holiday ever and that's a tradition for my daughter's birthday.

My husband prefers Christmas and still hasn't found his Halloween spirit after 19 years of being with me and enduring more Halloween decorations than Christmas ones. He voted against me in favor of visiting in December instead.

We've also had Miss Fabulous enter Kindergarten this year and school is as important as ever to her. We know we can't take her out of school 3 weeks a year so my off-season Disney trips are running out (I'm thinking about Disney cruises now!) Unfortunately, the school fundraiser awards happen to be occurring during the time when we planned to be in my dream vacation spot. So, apparently a limo ride to lunch and a few stuffed animals are higher priority.

We were at dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings. We had a vote - Halloween or Christmas. They both voted against me. Miss Fabulous voted against me. I'm totally pissed.