My Future Son In Law

You go through life with various friends and connect with them on some level. Some stay in your life, some move on, you move on, sometimes they come back, and then there are always new friends entering your life in some way. It's like God sends a particular person for you, who has the ability to connect with you in a special way at just the right time. It's really special when you figure out that you're the one he sent for someone else.

I have my husband and we connect in a very purposeful and powerful way but he's also the match that I need in my entire life for everything, me as a whole. We compliment each other in strengths and weaknesses and, of course, that's why marriage exists. I understand that not everyone has that compliment in this way, but they find it in other places through various friends. Perhaps that's also why divorce exists, as people change they need a different compliment for their lives. I don't know about that one, I still lean toward people just chose un-wisely to begin with. As for me and the husband, we're a match, that's a definite after 20 years together. Of course, we argue and there are times when I planned his death and actually knew exactly where I'd bury the body. I'm sure he's thought about strangling me a few times as well. Part of a marriage.

Miss Fabulous currently has a fascination with marriage. Now the story I've told her about my marriage is that I was 30 when I got married; let's all please stick to this if you happen to speak to Miss Fabulous regarding this subject.

She talks about getting married constantly and even has a couple prospective grooms picked out, I'm not sure their mothers know about it and I'm not having this conversation as of yet. Thankfully! One of the little guys is a little overweight, but he's a sweetheart. After hearing about the little guy as a possibility for our future son-in-law, my husband commented that even Mommy has a thing for the chubby guys. Okay, well, yeah, that's somewhat true if you look at my history but not quite, not quite. This whole conversation got me thinking about life, love, and the boyfriends I've had over the years and wondering where life will lead my daughter.

The young lady next door to us is an absolute doll, she sometimes babysits or dogsits for us. Since we've lived here, we've had the opportunity to see her grow up a bit and have her first boyfriend (not just a date.) This past summer, our dogs were barking outside incessantly and I went to the side windows to see what the racket was about. I inadvertently saw my sweet young neighbor with her boyfriend (whom she had told me about privately, see I'm cool! I'm NOT her mom!)

While staying to the side of their house and avoiding windows where her parents could see, they moved into an area where we could see. I have to admit I got a ticked when I saw him grab her backside and proceded to sit there and watch to make sure he was a gentleman with my sweet girl next door! I don't really know what it is that I thought I might do if he behaved inappropriately (in my eyes), but my husband started giving me a ration of crap about watching them and why I bothered - after all, I should have been thinking about the things I did, nothing that bad was going to happen outside there. Ahem....okay yeah and I DID walk away from the window.

The guy ended up being a jerk to my next door sweetie and they eventually broke up - see my mommy intuition was right on! Of course, I had told her mom about the sighting and we laughed about it. As moms, we discussed our high school boyfriends and how actually we both ended up with a guy we met in high school. Now after the break-up (my poor sweet neighbor!), I started thinking about Miss Fabulous and the heart aches should would endure in years to come. Of course, also I'm thankful that I have a mom next door who will be able to look out HER windows at my kid too.

When I was 5, I had my first "boyfriend" - we were a thing a Kindergarten. Miss Fabulous is also 5 now. Last year at preschool there was a boy that she seemed to interact with constantly; the teacher said they "argued like an old married couple, they were a good compliment to challenge each other." The husband and I both volunteered at school and neither of us liked this kid. He was trouble on the double and a big, huge brat. We also didn't care much for the family. Nice, yes, but....the type that'd make OUR parents cringe if we brought them home. The mom even suggested a playdate - yeah, that was NOT gonna happen as long as I was breathing! I couldn't wait for the year to be over to get her away from him.

I had another boyfriend in 4th grade. Actually I had two, I had no idea what two-timing actually was and I had no idea what "going-together was" since we didn't actually go anywhere; I figured it out fast when I got in trouble for it, ouch. Naive. There was the sweetheart in 5th grade that I "went with" but went no-where with. I remember writing our initials in hearts - hundreds of them and putting them on his desk as well as his BLUSH and smile when I did so. Cute!!! Yikes, I hope my daughter never thinks a boy is cute! But she will.

Then comes high school. I dated a guy who also "dated" several other girls at the same time, behind my back. He gave me his class ring and considering what he was doing, I don't know why he gave it to me. I don't think I ever even confronted him about it, but his friend who wanted to date me told me all about it. I didn't go out with the friend but that hurt. I'd have a hard time not killing a guy for doing that to my daughter.

There was one special guy in high school before my husband. I learned that he was, indeed, quite an amazing person. I'll always remember his eyes - you could see right through to his heart and soul. We shared so many thoughts and secrets and plans for the future; I don't think that connection will ever be completely gone. That was quite an intense relationship and I think most people, including our parents thought we'd eventually get married. There's certainly much more to this story but I think that's best left untold for now, the guy deserves a lot more than a mere mention in a blog. I hope for this type of friendship experience for everyone including my daughter.

Then along came my husband. I was in high school and he was in college, yum! If Miss Fabulous meets my future son-in-law in high school, I don't have that many years left. So, really, I understand that my daughter is probably going to be as boy crazy as I was, probably more so. I understand that there are going to be crushes, but I hope the broken hearts are very limited and replaced easily with other friendships and eventually a relationship that is as rewarding as it can be.

Please God, whomever you send this special girl to, make him complete and excellent in every way. If not, you and I are going to be having a talk and you already know how I can be.