Envy and Egos

In my mountain of magazines that come every month, I came across an article about a woman considered to be an up&coming in the political world (5280 if you must know.) Honestly, I really try to avoid discussing politics with most people as I'm just far too conservative for the tastes of most and the subjects just get me so heated that I can hardly function. The last election, mainly the coverage and name calling, put me over the edge for months - okay, actually in my house and with a few close friends I'm still bitching about it. I don't watch the news anymore but I read, and read, and read.

This article caught my eye because this woman, Dana Perino, was from Colorado and a Bush girl. Both of which, I am whole-heartedly a member. No matter the mistakes or lack of sophistication at public speaking, I continue to adore President Bush. He made me proudER to be an American and his public handling of 9/11 spoke to me on a level I can't quite describe.

Seeing this woman described as up&coming, despite being a Bush supporter, intrigued me. So I started reading. She's from Colorado and didn't go to the Ivy League schools; heck, she went to Pueblo for college - even I would never have bothered with that school. I considered it inferior. I kept reading and then I was hit with huge news that has sent me into a bit of a shock. SHE IS MY AGE! For goodness sake, when did this happen? A republican woman, who is MY age, is considered an up & coming political figure. And she's BLONDE!

I remember when the Colorado Rockies roster started holding players younger than me; that was disturbing. When ALL the players were younger than me, I was a little depressed - perhaps that's why I was a Larry Walker fan for so long and wanted him to stay with the team forever. It hurts! It hurts to see everyone getting younger when you don't realize you're getting older.

So, now, while I'm very impressed with Dana and a little upset with the journalist that wrote the article for writing a few things that made her appear immature and self-centered; I also hate her, just a little tiny bit. Envy...

I mean really, we're the same age, we're both from Colorado, and we're both republicans (granted she's a complete hottie and likely had some opportunities that I didn't have along the way.) But what the heck does she have that I haven't got? I guarantee I never sat on a conference call doodling my name and looking bored (as per the journalist), I got the work done! I was always a top performer. I guarantee that I would never have come up with a catch phrase like "not so fast, sunshine" and never actually would have thought it would be a good idea to say it on a political news show while trying to ride the wave and move forward in my career. Nor would I have been naive enough to let a journalist witness me saying such a thing and thinking I was clever. So why is this woman moving forward in her career and I'm sitting at home? I mean really, those instances a bit moronic.

If I'd continued to work and not become a stay-at-home mom for the past five years, I'd probably still be a key figure in my workplace but I wasn't going to rise to the top management. If you're a top performer, you never really move out of your position - you just get added work and more responsibility. Absolutely that comes with power as well as fantastic job satisfaction, but it's not a blinking, lighted banner announcing your successes. Do I want that?

Never would I have traded my opportunity to have a child and stay at home with her, that's been the biggest blessing of my life and I have treasured this time and completely appreciate it. Sincerely, I believe what I do now is far more important than what Dana or any political figure is doing. However, there's still that competitive envy.

I hope she does well and continues her rise, for all women. I want to see that success for my daughter's future.

Just from the article basics and life experience, I still have to wonder what IT is and I think I know. Politicians and top management figures say the darndest things, aren't we all chatting about the last idiotic statement one of them made publicly? Of course, we're reading about them in articles written my journalists who appear to have lost the ability to proofread and spell-check their craft before it's viewed by tens of millions of people.

It's ego. If you THINK you're the best, that's great, but once you're putting yourself out there and PROCLAIMING you're the best, I think you move to that next platform.

Now, I know that I personally will never be proclaiming myself anything. There's always someone out there who is a little better, a little faster, a little smarter, or has some other edge. No one is irreplaceable in business. While I'm a performer and know I can accomplish anything I put my mind to, and have proven that with references to back it up, I'm forever the office cheerleader. I'm happy, I'm bubbly, and I like to have a good time.

I sincerely believe that everyone should be happy at work and supportive of their teammates; there's no reason to spend that kind of time at a job if it's merely about a paycheck. Of course, I've had a few stops in my career at some pretty crumby companies and working for some very devious individuals, and on occassion I put up with the situation far longer than I really should have. I can't say I didn't benefit from the experiences; I learned to listen to my own intuition regarding the atmosphere, what I will and will not live with, and I've built a solid knowledge in my profession from nearly every angle. Everyone needs a paycheck, but there are a million ways to get it.

I know when I go back to work in a real office, I'll once again be the performer and will appreciate my own accomplishments. I'll just have to leave the platform for others. I don't want to be the office ego, I want to come back to real life and my family.

Maybe I'll again be lucky enough to find an ego that I want to cheer for and I'll continue to perform and hold the platform up, so it doesn't crumble.