Workforce Women

I'd always wanted to work and be a perfectionistic superstar while rising to the top of that corporate food chain. So when I got my first job, I went to town! My OCD issues were such a huge asset, I could organize everything in the world and then re-organize, improving methods and outcomes each time. My energy levels were extreme and a 40 hour work week quickly turned into a 60 hour one for me. My supervisors were always ecstatic with my work ethic and the load I could, and very happily, carried. What I really didn't expect were the female aspects.

First, it's extremely hard to work with women - not all of them but there's a good chunk of them out there. Why in the world another woman would not want to see other females succeed is beyond me. Of course, being competitive, it's really difficult to watch anyone else promoted over yourself when you honestly believe you deserved it for whatever reasons, but still, how can you not be happy to see someone else succeed? It's your ticket to future successes! Workplace gossip over ladies who have a little cleavage showing or skirts slightly higher than they really should be has just got to end.

While I myself am fairly modest, I will admit to showing a little cleavage or wearing that short skirt on my way to get a permit I desperately need to get a project moving. So what? I've been happily married since the beginning of time and It's not like I gave anyone a lap dance or engaged in prostitution. I used the boobs to get someone's attention - if it works, why not? On the flip side, I've also used a very pregnant state to get what I wanted. If someone wants to believe I'm honestly a helpless pregnant woman and a few tears and theatrics can make someone interested in assisting another human being, what exactly is the problem with that?

Now, women in the workforce have a variety of personal situations. Some are married, some are not, some have kids, some do not - basic facts of life and it applies to men as well. Being married does not automatically mean that a woman will be popping out children within days of being hired. For thirteen years, I was questioned by various supervisors (and during interviews) as to my status of having children. No, I'm not personally interested in suing someone for this lack of charisma whether legal or not. However, can we all just agree that anything involving a woman's vagina and uterus should just be considered unmentionables in the work force? I don't remember any of the men I worked with being asked about the working state of their penis or whether they had checked their sperm count. Seriously folks, I'm working 80 hours a week for you and you acknowledge I'm doing a stellar job, it's not necessary to tell me that I'm getting older and need to get busy having kids or I may miss my chance.

I might also take the time to bring up the idea of a man giving a woman advice in the workplace. Now, I very much appreciate a senior male or female co-worker giving me knowledge of their experiences and methods that have worked or not worked for them in the past. I fully recognize and appreciate your information and would love to learn from you. However, O Wise One, I'm not completely certain your ideas for my being able to command authority in a room have much to do with whether my legs are crossed or not while chatting. Certainly body language is important and I do try to be well aware of those issues; however, once again, I am a woman and you are a man, there are some things we handle differently. I can and have commanded respect in a meeting with your experts while my legs were crossed in a lady-like fashion, I didn't feel it necessary to rest my ankle on top of my knee thus giving anyone a view of my crotch (O Wise One, you forgot sometimes women wear skirts but I didn't bother to remind you of that while you were "helping" me with your advice.) Bottom line, I don't tell you how to be a man, please don't tell me how to be a woman. Men have the advantage in some situations but I can guarantee I can convince one of your men to do something for me simply because I am a woman and that, in itself, is a huge advantage of being a woman.

Once I decided to leave the workforce to stay at home with my baby to be, I was relieved to think about NOT having to endure any further discussions of the above but it didn't last long. Although I sincerely appreciated the support for my decision to stay home, I simply never expected the men in my office (and yes, it was actually only men) to have so many opinions and expertise to share with me regarding breast feeding. Men, seriously, these are my boobs, I've had them my entire life, I will take care of them as I please and I know fully how to use them in more aspects that you can possibly imagine. I may have expected that conversation in Lamaze Class, but not in a meeting for a large professional office building. Okay, thanks boys, can we please get back to discussing the structural issues we're having before the right side of the building collapses? My boobs are not strong enough for that kind of reinforcement.

Now, as Miss Fabulous approaches her 5th birthday, I am again thinking of rejoining the workforce. I mean, with these mounting number of dance classes desired and really just months before she is in school full-time, what else would I do with my time? I really do need a challenge and I'm already finished reconstructing everything on my home aka my unemployed construction habit. I've mastered cleaning the house and according to my realtor my house is cleaner than 95% of the houses out there that are ON the market (PS Folks, we're going to talking about cleaning another time!) - huge kudos to my OCD issues! So, where's a good place for a mom to land to fulfill that desire to achieve?

I've never worked while being a mom before, so those 80 hour work weeks are going to have to be a thing of the past or at least a rarity. Now I have to deal with the employers who automatically believe that because I am a mother (I'm also a very honest interviewee) I will likely call in sick to work all the time and miss so many days that my work will never have a chance of being completed on time. Formerly, as a supervisor, I also had concerns hiring mothers for positions, especially single moms - you just never know what you're going to get and those people with a strong work ethic are few and far between.

Following the last elections, I was disheartened with all that occurred with former Governor Sarah Palin as a candidate. Her clothing was an issue. Her eyeglasses were an issue. Her hair was an issue. Her mothering skills to her pregnant teenage daughter was an issue. Her ability to perform the job while having children including a new infant was questioned. Whether you like her or not, certainly women out there should all have been desperately outraged! If someone in her position and already performing duties as a Governor is picked apart so readily with regard to these silly items that have nothing to do with her abilities, what can the rest of us honestly expect out in the corporate world? That looks fairly dismal to me and I'm still amazed that journalists and other politicians were not creating an uproar about this - backbones are lacking in that industry apparently???

For myself, I am again lost with regard to this future. I am a woman and I will be bringing my boobs along with me to work. As long as I am young enough to be able to use them to my advantage, they will be used. If a short skirt will assist me in getting a job done, I'll buy stock in them. Heck, if letting an individual with a foot fetish paint my toes will assist in any way with my success, you can bet I'll have a new pair of fabulous open-toed shoes every day of the week. Yes, I've done it before and I'll do it again if needed.

I am a female overachiever but get this straight, keep your mouth shut about my vagina and uterus because now I'm the mother of a little girl. That little girl will one day be a woman and I refuse to let this continue and happen to her!